Today, I finally spent one whole day in campus. For a student trying to finish her thesis and graduate, spending a day at campus shouldn’t be a surprise… But a student with a part time job and trying to run an institution… Today was truly a rare moment of life lately. I actually had time to eat lunch, a late-lunch and a dinner (I ate a LOT today) with friends! After several lunches in front of my laptop in an office and a late dinner alone at home… truly, this was a special day!
And so this got me thinking, what do I actually value and what makes me enjoy my life. This week has totally exhausted me… But the new people, new environment and new challenges that I face keep me upbeat and happy that I thought: “Perhaps this is the life that I want.”
But today, on campus and having a rare, layback day, I felt happy… Like really really happy. So it comes to the point where I question what success truly means for me. I used to think that I am driven by acknowledgement and achievement and defined prestige as success. Now, I’m not sure that those things -compliments, having your name on a poster or on TV, people asking weird questions and expecting really deep answers – are what I want…
I’ve been joining a number of workshops and trainings and they all seem to be saying the same thing: you have to decide what you want from a young age and reach out to it. But why can’t life just be something that you live one minute at a time? Why do we need to decide? Or are these questions just an excuse to avoid the responsibility of deciding a goal?
People talk about success as if we live for the future. Capitalists believe that more money means success, religious leaders talk about success in afterlife and politicians talk about power and authority. What if I just wanted to be happy NOW? Would that somehow compromise my future???
I’m spending more time asking questions rather than finding the answers…
Dhika*Shines
October 11, 2008 at 12:46 pm
fyuuhh… pertanyaannya dalem, aku jadi teringat kata Rasulullah SAW yg kurang lebih kayak gini, “Orang yang sungguh2 beruntung/sukses adalah orang yg amal ibadahnya hari ini lebih baik dari hari yg lalu dan begitu pula sebaliknya”, itu sebuah kata2 yg relatif nilainya khususnya kalo yg ngedengerin adalah orang yg gak percaya datangnya hari pertanggungjawaban, ketika usia kita bertambah cuma satu yg pasti yaitu jatah waktu hidup kita berkurang, pernah gak bangun di pagi hari trus bercermin dan bertanya ke diri kita sendiri apakah besok kita akan tetap bisa melakukan rutinitas yg sama ini ato kalo hari ini adalah hari terakhir hidup saya, apakah saya tetap melakukan apa yang akan saya lakukan hari ini?…
kamu berhak kok untuk bahagia saat ini juga ato hidup seakan waktu yg tersisa hanya satu menit sehingga kamu melakukan apapun yg kamu mau, itu semua adalah kemerdekaan individu kamu, tapi pertanyaan sebenarnya adalah berapa lama kamu akan melakukannya dan apakah kebahagian yg kamu kejar itu adalah sesuatu yg bermakna ato akankah kebahagiaan itu kekal, dan sebuah hukum alam kalo segala sesuatu tindakan akan punya konsekuensi mungkin itu mengapa kita harus memutuskan segala sesuatu, tapi kalo kamu lelah dengan semua hal itu, just take a break and simply enjoy your life… karena hampir semua yg ada didunia ini adalah sesuatu yg relatif dan tidak kekal…
at the end, it just my two cents, dan makasih yah karena blog entry kamu kali ini ini secara gak langsung ngingetin gw akan banyak hal yg sering terlupakan… =)
October 14, 2008 at 7:44 am
you know, this is the moment to really think what do you want to pursue in your life. Try to think again what is the meaning of happiness for you.
lot of people stuck in common sense of pursuing score, career, titles, wealth, etc… without knowing what they really want in life.
wealth does not equal to happiness
but happy people always consider them self wealthy